Weddings are an ordinarily happy occasion. At least for one day, people can be optimistic that love exists and this couple just may make it for the long haul.
Unless that wedding has any tell-tale signs that the couple should have never agreed to say "I do" in the first place.
We found people on various Reddit threads that called the not-so-happy couple’s demise from the very start.
"Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce."
"The groom looked drunk and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom." – Redditor destinydivided
"He’s in for a nasty surprise when he realizes his wife is actually a complete diva."
"The groom said in his speech, ‘When I joined a dating agency I never thought I’d be so lucky as to find my own personal cook, dishwasher, and washing machine. Not only is that a sh—- way to describe ANYONE, he’s in for a nasty surprise when he realizes his wife is actually a complete diva and will expect him to do all those things for her! Bad relationship all round."- Redditor millet.
"Groom’s mistress found out he was getting married."
"Groom’s mistress found out he was getting married and showed up at the wedding, in the middle of the I-do’s, walked right up on stage and smacked him in the face." – jennagraham2012
"The bride starts with ‘I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around.’"
"At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because ‘he looks miserable’ and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with ‘I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!’
"They were divorced a year later." – Redditor vogelarcher15
"She flinched when he turned to kiss her."
"She flinched when he turned to kiss her. They were divorced within six months." – Redditor unlimiteddanna
"’Til death, or divorce, do us part."
"The bride had the minister put ‘Til death, or divorce, do us part’ into the ceremony." – Redditor owtlawl1.
"My cousin (the bride) told us […] that she didn’t think it would last."
"My cousin (the bride) told us, as she was going from table to table thanking the guests, that she didn’t think it would last. We were stunned. They lasted about a year." – anonymous commenter
"The groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread."
"The bride, whom I didn’t even know, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, there’d be hell to pay.
"I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety) and during the reception I tried to chat with her a bit and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn’t see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception.
"They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, ‘I shouldn’t do this.’ But it was paid for, tons of guests were waiting, lots of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he felt he had to go through with it. Apparently the bride had a history of being awful and controlling. No clue what made him propose to her in the first place." – Redditor baltimorejane
"They had plenty of money — just no desire to compromise."
"We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn’t go on a honeymoon because they couldn’t agree on a destination. They had plenty of money — just no desire to compromise." – Redditor Back2Bach
"It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable."
"During the ceremony when the priest started asking the bride, ‘Do you take this man to be your–,’ she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop. It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change." – Redditor c0de76
"Groom got so drunk at the reception he passed out in the honeymoon suite."
"Groom got so drunk at the reception he passed out in the honeymoon suite by himself, but not before he latched the door so it couldn’t be unlocked from the outside. Seeing the bride kicking the door and hollering at the top of her lungs to be let in at 3 a.m. was not encouraging.
"They divorced like two years later." – Redditor Big_daddy_c
"The bride then changed into sweat pants and then everyone got angry drunk."
"I was working at a ‘wedding factory.’ On Monday, we got a call the Saturday wedding was cancelled. They were told that they would lose the deposit (around $7,000). Then on Thursday they said it was back on.
"When the guests arrived every one was pissed off. It seems they told everyone was it was off, then two days later that it was on. The ceremony was about 3 minutes. The bride then changed into sweat pants and then everyone got angry drunk. ‘Well this won’t last long’ I thought. Then on the following Monday, the bride walked into my (then) wife’s divorce attorney’s office." – Redditor redcapmilk
"He loved her more than she loved him."
"They were friends of mine who dated for nearly two years before their wedding. He loved her more than she loved him, obvious to all our friends, and we suspected she begrudgingly said yes to his proposal.
"He said his vows first and went on and on about loving her for the rest of his life. During hers, she started with ‘438 days … that’s how long I’ve loved you.’ It seemed sweet until she ended her vows with, ‘And I promise to love you for at least 438 more.’ Most thought nothing of it and some friends called me a dick for saying it was a subconscious sign she wasn’t in it for the long haul.
"She left him exactly that amount of days after the wedding with a note that said ‘I kept my vow to love you for 438 days more, but I can’t for a single day more.’
"Called it." – Redditor pteampterodactyl
"He found that text whilst on honeymoon."
"Bride was on her phone the whole time at the wedding. All her family and friends were there, so who was she texting?
"Turns out it was her boss, who was also at the wedding. And if you’re thinking they were getting down to some sexy talk you’re wrong. The groom, now increasingly paranoid, later found a text sent by his wife during the ceremony which read: ‘I can’t wait to start a family with you.’
"He found that text whilst on honeymoon. Bear in mind too that this girl had pestered him to propose for ten years, and would cry on nights out because he hadn’t yet popped the question. Broke up a month after the ceremony, divorced in three." – Redditor sugarvalves
"The body language was perplexing and then just sad during photos."
"I have seen brides fight their grooms at the reception, I’ve seen a bride bash a family member over the head with a bottle of champagne, I’ve seen small children whip burning tea lights at guests from a floor above, I’ve seen a guest try to fake a slip and fall to sue the venue. Probably the most ‘WTF?’ was a very obviously arranged marriage. Most of the planning was done by the parents, because they were local and the kids were ‘traveling overseas.’ Red flag. Day of, we meet the happy couple-to-be.
"I’m really bad at judging ages, but she seemed at least old enough to consent. And, I should add, she was gorgeous. Could have been a model. The groom, however, almost a foot shorter than she, very lanky, looked like he was squarely in the middle of an adolescent awkward phase. My staff and I had difficulty not giving any outward signs that we were very uncomfortable.
"The body language was perplexing and then just sad during photos. Culturally, its not uncommon for PDA to be kept to a minimum, but the way she leaned away from him and could barely look at him … She was so obviously miserable. To this day I regret not offering to help her escape through a bathroom window. I told myself it was not my place to interfere and that I should just shut up and do my job. I will never take another client without a face to face with the bride first. I hope they’re not still together." – Redditor CardsForSorrow
"[She made me get] $500 pants. After I refused, the bride freaked because it made the wedding party uneven. Groom bought my pants, I wore them once, they divorced. He seems a lot happier with his new wife." – Redditor Uncookedmarsupial
"He left the wedding reception with one of the bridesmaids."
"When I was going through law school I used to process serve in the evenings — handing our summons and delivering divorce papers, etc.
"I usually never had time to read the complaints, but I was having trouble finding the husband to serve the divorce papers on — he had deserted from the Navy — so I hoped that the papers might have some clue in them as to how I could find him.
"Turns out the complaint stated that ‘He left the wedding reception with one of the bridesmaids and at that point the wife determined that the marriage was over …’
"Looks like he has quite a track record in deserting." – Redditor Damocles2010
"She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue."
"Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind, and very fun person, to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. It was bad. I knew it wasn’t going to last the moment she arrived at the venue. She tore up the guest list, and was furious at the groom because his family, most of them either elderly and disabled, weren’t at the ceremony yet (they were 5 minutes late, and parking was awful). So she decided to start the ceremony even though they weren’t there yet. The groom had zero say as he was a really quiet guy. During the bridal procession down the aisle, people kept arriving and having to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue.
"Then, during the actual vows, the groom was so terrified, he literally couldn’t look at her. Instead, he did his vows while looking at the minister. She grabbed his face mid-vows, pointed his face to hers, then said ‘Do them over … NOW!’ Probably the most cringe-worthy moment I’ve ever seen in my entire career. The guests tried to laugh it off, but we all felt bad for him.
"The icing on the cake was during the toast. She decided to talk about his mom … then passive-aggressively insult her … then completely insult the crowd … then her new husband (yes, she was sober). After the dinner, about 75% of the guests just up and left.
"There was so much more than happend (and if there is enough interest, I’ll share more), but it was a total shit show. I knew, this one wouldn’t last. And it didn’t. They divorced a few weeks later. How do I know? She stiffed me on payment and kept blaming her now-ex-husband for not having any money and everything that went wrong in their marriage." – Redditor MexicanAlemundo
"If the bride and groom shove the cake in each other’s faces at the reception, they will end up divorced."
"My mother has a theory that hasn’t failed us yet: if the bride and groom shove the cake in each other’s faces at the reception, they will end up divorced.
"Besides being just a noticeable trend, it has some backup reasoning to it. When the couple smashes cake in the others face, it’s a pretty in the moment, almost selfish attention seeking act. In my opinion it comes off very superficial. And doesn’t allow for the appreciation of the act. While the couples that enjoy the moment for the beautiful thing that it is and don’t be silly and smash cake in their SO’s face have a deeper appreciation for their partner and the experience.
"So far observed our theory in 7 different weddings. 4/7 were cake smashers. Three of those have already divorced/filed for divorce, and the forth couple is doing pretty bad. All three non-cake smashing couples are together and seemingly happy and dedicated to each other." – Redditor BigRed_61
"The extravagance of the wedding put my estimate at two years, tops."
"The bride had a father who was mortgaging his home to pay for the wedding. She had been given everything as a child and became accustomed to life on a silver platter. She worked for Christian Dior in makeup sales and insisted everything must be designer.
"She had a destination wedding that lasted a month at a villa in Italy. More that 50 people flew out and she had designer dresses and accessories for every single planned event for an entire month. There were nonstop events planned. She was the star of everything. Her husband was an afterthought and only beckoned for pictures when her personal photographer reminded her that they should take some together.
"The extravagance of the wedding put my estimate at two years tops. They made it about two years, pregnancy likely playing a big part in the longevity of the two year marriage.
"The father of the bride ended up living in the spare room of her condo with her and her new husband because the father of the bride had a wife that was not the brides mother and the cost of the wedding was so outrageous that they divorced over it. Father of the bride was a sales rep for a medical company, not a millionaire. Bride gives no f—- because everything is about her and what she wants regardless of who it harms or affects.
"Rule of thumb: the more extravagant the wedding, the more likely they are compensating for a hollow relationship." – Redditor Hi_Dee
"He smashed the cake in her face."
"I went to a wedding where the wife-to-be told the groom-to-be about 10,000 times in my presence (before the wedding, obviously) that she did not want the cake smashed in her face and if he smashed the cake in her face they would have serious problems.
"He smashed the cake in her face.
"She had it annulled." – Redditor dramboxf
"She’s an idiot, that song sucks."
"I’m a Wedding DJ. I was given a request by the bride maybe an hour into what was scheduled to be a three-hour dance. Normally when I get a request from either the bride or groom, I will ask them ‘Do you want that now, or at some point later?’ especially if the song is not in the genre that I am playing in right now.
"She told me that she wanted it now, so I queued it up on the deck that wasn’t playing the current song. She walked away happy, expecting that her song would be next. Immediately after she left my table the groom walks up to me and asks me what she requested. I show him, he half-laughs and tells me not to play it. Conflicted and surprised, I ask him ‘why not?,’ to which he replies ‘she’s an idiot, that song sucks.’
"If you respond like that to a single song in a three hour dance, then there’s no way that you are going to respond well to something more serious when it comes up in the future. Among DJs, we call people like this ‘repeat customers.’" – Redditor bigfootgame
"Not for a first wedding, but I’m so going to have it for my second!"
"In the days before Pinterest, I was working as a florist in a very expensive shop. A young bride came in for her initial consultation and we go through her scrap books with ideas, then she was flipping through our photo books and then oohing and ahhing over everything.
"She came to one pricey high-style bouquet — very architectural, with unexpected elements — and she say, ‘Oh, I love that! Not for a first wedding, but I’m so going to have it for my second!’ And she gives this naughty little smile that one could tell she thought was cute and pulls a second wedding scrapbook out of her designer bag and writes down the design number!
"Apparently, she actually was planning her second wedding. No idea how long they actually lasted, but I’ve heard it said that the more expensive the wedding, the quicker the divorce and the flowers alone for that wedding were over $10,000 –and this was about 20 years ago." – Redditor w_pthrowaway
"There were a bunch of pictures of her and none of the groom."
"The bride choose what pictures to display. There were a bunch of pictures of her and none of the groom." – Redditor RCorvus
"Reception included a narrated 30-minute slideshow of the couple."
"It was super cheesy and had all the cheesy trappings of ‘romance. "Gushing vows, a horse-drawn carriage. The bride wore a crown and exclaimed non-stop she was a ‘princess!!!’ Reception included a narrated 30-minute slideshow of the couple. It was ridiculous and nauseating." – anonymous Reddit user
"If a man’s not committed enough to dress appropriately at his own wedding, he’s probably not committed to the relationship."
"The groom was wearing a pair of old running shoes. (For the record, he wasn’t poor.) Everyone else including his groomsmen and best man were wearing dress shoes. My dad leans over to me and says, ‘What kind of a man wears running shoes to a black tie wedding?’
"The groom ran alright, about a month later when he suddenly decided he didn’t want to be tied down. Packed up to travel the world, alone. Fortunately, my cousin found a decent guy after that whole mess. Been happily married 10 years this month.
"If a man’s not committed enough to dress appropriately at his own wedding, he’s probably not committed to the relationship." – an anonymous Reddit commenter
"The groom and bride never really liked each other, but went through with the wedding anyways.
"Bride refused to kiss the groom no matter what and would reluctantly hold hands with him in front of people and photos. As soon as people’s backs are turned, she yanks her hand off. They divorced a month later. Bride then remarried within a few months.
"Turns out it was an arranged marriage the moms forced on them. The groom and bride never really liked each other, but went through with the wedding anyways. The bride was already in another relationship behind the groom’s back long before the wedding.
"I was the groom." – Redditor sackofmangoes
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